Extreme

Some holy books contain horrific ideas. They advocate slavery, murdering one's children for misbehaving, human sacrifices to God, holy war, imperial conquest, torture, killing people for blasphemy, genocide, misogyny, and punishing people for their thoughts. That's all in The Bible, by the way. Sure, the Koran, and the even more reprehensible Hadith, advocate a lot of horrible stuff, but its ideas are not as alien to Judeo-Christian beliefs as one might imagine. In fact, a fair degree of Islam is simply plagiarized from Judaism, Christianity, and various religions of desert tribes which existed when Muhammad invented Islam. In the wake of terrorist action by Islamofascists in Paris, a political cartoon was published contrasting its vision of Islamic extremism and Christian extremism. The Islamic extremist says something along the lines of, "Accept Allah or I shall kill you," while the Christian extremist says something along the lines of, "I must tell you about Jesus even if it costs me my life." Real Christian extremists are nothing like the vision of the humble martyr depicted. While they are generally less lethal than their Muslim counterparts, they are just as evil.

When a Christian fundamentalist parent believes their minor child to be gay, there are options for them in the United States. Certain people can arrange a kidnapping under the cover of darkness, coming into the gay child's bedroom in the middle of the night prepared to use whatever degree of force and restraints may be necessary to place the child in a vehicle to be hauled off for conversion therapy. Once there, the people who run the camp may imprison the child there and perform basically whatever action they like to the end of turning the homosexual child into a heterosexual one. This can legally last until the child is 18, when parental permission is no longer sufficient to detain them. Only one state I know of, which is New Jersey, has outlawed this practice. Lest you think this practice is only advocated by a few nuts, here is a list of anti-gay Christian hate groups that either condone, financially support, or outright participate in it:
Abiding Truth Ministries
American Family Association
American Vision
Americans for Truth About Homosexuality
Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute
Chalcedon Foundation
Christ the King Church (Larkspur, Colorado)
Faithful Word Baptist Church
Family Research Council
Family Research Institute
Family Watch International
Generations With Vision
Help Rescue Our Children
Heterosexuals Organized for a Moral Environment (H.O.M.E.)
Illinois Family Institute
Liberty Counsel
Mission: America
Parents Action League
Pilgrims Covenant Church
Providence Road Baptist Church
Public Advocate of the United States (see Eugene Delgaudio)
Ruth Institute
SaveCalifornia.com
Sons of Thundr (Faith Baptist Church)
TC Family (Traverse City Family)
The Pray in Jesus Name Project
Tom Brown Ministries
Traditional Values Coalition
True Light Pentecost Church
Truth In Action Ministries
United Families International
Westboro Baptist Church
Windsor Hills Baptist Church
World Congress of Families/Howard Center for Family, Religion and Society
You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International
That wall of text means that fundamentalist Christianity, while less violent and lethal than Islamic fundamentalism, can claim no moral high ground.

My thought would be that acts of terrorism in the name of Islam are clearly based on things that actually appear in the Koran and the Hadith. Similarly, The Spanish Inquisition, slavery, sexism, and a number of other evils are clearly based on things that actually appear in The Bible. These unfortunate facts about the unpleasant aspects of scripture should not be used to imply that everyone, or even a majority, among their respective religions' adherents subscribe to them. Various interpretations and contexts can drastically change, downplay, or deem untenable aspects of scriptures for various denominations or individuals, resulting in more prosocial behavior and attitudes towards science, the western world, and modern civilization in general. If there's one thing a friend with his masters in divinity from Vanderbilt has taught me, it's that these books are by no means clear or easy to understand without a great deal of concerted effort and scholarship. The problem isn't Muslims themselves as much as it is bad ideas to which sufficient numbers of them subscribe to cause a global threat to civilization. Fred Phelps and my beloved childhood minister Brother Bob were both Christians. That goes to show that knowing someone's religion simply is insufficient to know the content of their character.

-Frank

The First Freedom

Would you be willing to die to protect the freedom of expression? Conversely, if someone offends somebody via the free exercise of speech, would you blame the speaker if the offended party murdered them for their offensive speech? This is not a hypothetical question. We live in a world where there are people willing to kill those who offend them with cartoons. You do not need to know the content of the cartoons or whom they offended to answer these questions. Either it is okay to kill people who offend you with their speech or it is not. Arguments that there are some sacred things that, if spoken ill of, offend so powerfully that murdering the speaker is an acceptable response are invalid. Either people are free to express themselves as they choose, and this freedom is important enough to be worth dying over, or they are not and ought to think twice before speaking in an offensive manner about things anyone may consider sacred.

In the United States, the first amendment to the Constitution guarantees the freedom of speech to all citizens. However, the concept has been adopted by the whole of the western world. The government is not allowed to oppress the people for their speech and those who would threaten or enact violence solely on the basis of said speech are violating the law and are generally dealt with accordingly. Maintaining this freedom involves a great deal of resolve from many parties. Governments must restrain themselves from oppressing critics, individuals and groups must restrain themselves from threats and violence in response to the speech of others, and all parties must speak freely, even in the face of the worst danger. If any of these parties fail in their obligations to uphold free speech, their failure endangers the future of free speech. Make no mistake, this freedom is not a given and has been the exception, rather than the rule, throughout history.

Respecting the right of an individual or group to hold a belief and express that belief is a noble thing and an important part of freedom of expression. Instead respecting the belief itself out of fear of reprisal for failure to do so is ignoble and a very serious threat to free speech. Imagine the power any individual or group wields once criticism of said individual or group's beliefs is either impermissible or impossible without serious risk of death. That's absolute power and, even if the beliefs are objectively beyond reproach, the individuals and groups that hold them absolutely are not, which will inevitably lead to the old chestnut about absolute power corrupting absolutely. If someone oppresses you or others, do you want to be able to speak out against them for it no matter what beliefs your oppressors claim are motivating them? Well, then you're going to have to be brave enough to speak as you wish, no matter what harm may come to you as a consequence, and you'll also have to be brave enough to condemn those willing to use violence to suppress criticism or mockery of their beliefs.

-Frank

The Wisdom Of Frank Lee Coffman Sr.

Frank Lee Coffman Sr. was my great grandfather and the man who began the prosperity my family has been enjoying all the way up to the present day. He founded what was then called Harrison Federal Bank, after many years of entrepreneurship that began with a bicycle shop on the Harrison square that he opened in the early 20th century around 12 years of age. Although he was a great man because of the prosperity he brought to the family, he was also a great man for his penchant for coining bon mots. These bits of wisdom are many, but I will limit the scope of this article to discussing three of them. First, if you mess with shit, you get shit on you. Second, you'll make more with your brain than you will with your back. Third, it's a long road that doesn't turn.

If you mess with shit, you get shit on you. This is probably the most self-explanatory of the bon mots. It is also the one I've seen proven in my own life most frequently. In my time, I have known and associated with crazy people, misogynistic people, dishonest people, amoral people, narcissistic people, and addicts, and every single time, no matter how much I thought I was their friend, or, in some cases, their lover, and they would never turn their destructive urges again me, I got burned. If I were to expand upon this particular bon mot, I would say that, if you see a behavior in anyone that you consider morally unsavory, be wary because you will likely be seeing it again and, if you stay around that person too long, eventually they'll come round to you.

You'll make more with your brain than you will with your back. While I understand the logic behind this one, especially for its time, I think this is the bon mot I question and it is the only one of his I've ever questioned. Working with your brain implies the white collar world, basically, and also indicates the necessity of at least a bachelor's degree. At one time, the surest path to prosperity was working in business, with the possibility of starting one's own, as one climbed the ranks in a company to the end of building a long career. Working with your back meant low pay, backbreaking work, and lower status in society. Nowadays, a synthesis is better. Skilled trades are highly in demand and largely unionized. Using your brain in order to facilitate working with your back is the smart play today.

It's a long road that doesn't turn. This one probably requires the most explanation. Basically, it's about how you treat the people you meet as you go through life. The road of life is long and as you walk down it, the people you encounter are often going to be people you encounter again, often when you least expect it. How you treat those people can have a tremendous effect on the results of encountering them again later in life. We are all walking the same road, so it only stands to reason that our lives are going to affect one another. By the same token, this also means that you should not be too mad when people do you wrong. Maybe you'll encounter them again someday when they need something from you. Either you can not give them what they need at that time or take comfort in the inherent humiliation that comes with seeking help from someone you've done wrong.

We all develop philosophies of life as we go through it. However much we might think that whatever our parents taught us, supernaturally-inspired scriptures told us, society's mores and folkways implicitly suggest to us, or the law imposes on us, we eventually are going to end up with varying ideas of what is right and wrong, wise and foolhardy, and noble and base. For me, it's been a long journey to find my own bon mots like Pop, but I do believe I've arrived at a few. To mirror this article, I'll mention three. Never assume you know a person and their experience better than they themselves do. A law is only valid when its aim is to protect the people from one another, as opposed to themselves. Life isn't fair, but sometimes, just sometimes, you can get in life's way, which you always do whenever you can.

-Frank

The Happiest Place On Earth

The upcoming trip to Disney World has me pretty excited. After thinking about it a while, I realized why. It goes back to roughly the year 1988. I was seven years old and my beloved grandmother was dying of ovarian cancer. Grandmom was a saintly figure within the family and remains the kindest human being I have ever been privileged to know. She and my equally beloved grandfather took me on my on my first trip to Disney World, which would've been around 1984-1985. Honestly, I was too young to remember much of that trip. Some details I can recall include how she bought me an alligator bath toy with which I would play in obsessive glee and some sort of puppet show involving fruit that I found strangely engrossing. Clearer are my memories on that same trip of the Don Cesar Hotel, where I was impressed with the ocean view our room offered, exclaiming, "What a view!" A steel drum band featured at the hotel and tiny me got up and danced with them in a display of adorable uncoordination. Those are happy memories, but they are not my point. My point goes deeper. Although I've been trying to get together a Disney trip for about a year, greater urgency has presented itself as of late and I think I know why.

My second trip to Disney World came during the middle of Grandmom's battle with ovarian cancer. It so happened that my mother was attending a banking meeting in Orlando and, having a seven-year-old in the midst of learning about death and preparing to grieve, not to mention the obvious convenience of not having to find a babysitter along with me, she took me along and turned it into a Disney vacation. Although my great-grandfather had died a few years earlier, he had only been a babbling bedridden man with Alzheimer's to me, so it wasn't much of a lesson in grief. Grandmom was going to be hard though, and I damn well knew it. So the happiest place on Earth was going to have a hell of time making me happy, or so I thought. All of the effort Disney puts into the experience worked wonders. I marveled at 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, cowered at Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, and was awestruck by Epcot's display of human culture and innovation. Every day, I'd call Grandmom on pay phones around the park and tell her how awesome it all was, even mailing her a message in a bottle from Pirates Of The Caribbean. Even something as sad as cancer couldn't stop Disney's magic.

There have been two more trips to Disney World for me since 1988. The third involved my whole stepfamily and was definitely a blast, although it was most memorable for the improbable encounter we had with family friends who I knew were going to be at Disney World the same time we are, although that was mostly memorable because my mother insisted the park was too big for a random meeting like that to happen. Most recently, I went with my father and stepmother in 1993, which I recall as a nice bonding experience with him. However, that trip is slightly tarnished by an obnoxious 12-year-old me making fun of Pluto and calling him, "Odie," repeatedly. If I run into Pluto this time, I must remember to apologize. Ultimately, the most important trip for my purposes now was the one in 1988. Grandmom's impending death was my darkest hour at that time and the mouse broke through that sadness and allowed me to experience complete happiness for a while. So now, staring down the barrel of a life with autism that will mean no useful work and no love, I once again face my darkest hour. Turning to the mouse once more, I say, "Make me feel better. Take the burdens of a regrettable life away for a few days. Be the happiest place on Earth one more time.

-Frank

Low-T

I am the proud owner of a diagnosis of low-testosterone, commonly abbreviated as low-T, which is a standard to which I will adhere in this article for the sake of brevity. While I try to be reasonably well-informed regarding subjects about which I write, I must admit that I do not know much about low-T. Oh, obviously my endocrinologist has informed me of some of the symptoms, such as low energy, sexual dysfunction, difficulty losing weight, difficulty putting on muscle even with serious weight training, and other symptoms I also have. Between diabetes, autism, depression, and significant enough outdoor allergies to make me useless in the right weather conditions, I did not need something else on my place medical condition-wise, but I suppose none of us ever do.

According to my endocrinologist, my particular case of low-T arises due to obesity, which, perhaps ironically, it helps to perpetuate by impeding energy and ability to exercise. Basically, as best I can understand, fat somehow manages to turn testosterone into estrogen, which is undoubtedly the worst magic trick ever. There are two treatments I can go with to help raise my testosterone levels. I may either take an experimental pill that works by somehow short-circuiting fat's ability to turn testosterone into estrogen or I can take testosterone that works by virtue of being testosterone in the first place. Since the former option is more likely to be covered by my insurance, and is cheaper in any event, that's the one I'm going to go with, at least at first.

The next couple of months are going to be important for determining the progress of treating my low-T. After four weeks, I go in to have blood drawn for another round of tests, which will be able to show whether or not the pill is having any effect. Regardless of those results, another appointment will take place two weeks later. At that appointment, my endocrinologist will assess the test results to determine whether or not to continue the treatment. If it's working, then a decision will be made as to whether to continue with the same dosage, increase the dosage, or reduce the dosage. However, if it is not having a significant effect, I will need to go with actual testosterone, which isn't something I as of yet have much of an understanding. Another article will be forthcoming when I have a better idea as to my prognosis.

-Frank

Vacation

I was not able to take a vacation this year during the usual time of just after the holidays. This is because of the failure of my company and the resultant compromised finances. However, I've crunched the numbers and I should be able to save up enough to go on one at the usual time next year. The vacations I take have a few common ingredients. First of all, they are solely my financial responsibility. Second of all, I always take along at least one friend, which is actually the overwhelmingly common arrangement over the years. As airport security became a nightmare for many people, including unique tortures for fat guys, recent years have seen a third element come into play in that my vacations are all now road trips. By my own admission, I am not a terribly good driver and have poor common sense, so those who come with me all expenses paid are, in a sense, earning their keep by doing the driving and keeping me from bumping into furniture and the like.

My vacations have had a few different destinations over the years. These have included Saint Louis, Kansas City, Bloomington, Las Vegas, and Orlando, the last of which being the one to which I aim to return next year. Las Vegas and Orlando are the ones to which I find myself most frequently drawn. With Las Vegas, it's not the gambling, but it's pretty much everything else. The shows are the best I've ever seen anywhere in the world, the culinary adventures on offer are higher quality, more varied, and more convenient than any I've ever experienced, and, until a few years ago, there was even a Star Trek theme park. Orlando is about the theme parks, through and through. Riding those rides, seeing those sights, and existing in an environment carefully engineered to maximize human happiness is one of the most fun things any human being can do. Everybody likes to take vacations and I don't really think my reasons for taking them have been any different than anybody else's, up until recently.

Up until recently, vacations were all about fun for fun's sake. Heck, I'm still young enough that the vast majority of my life entailed planning vacations around summer, winter break, or spring break. Vacations were a thing you did when you had the time and money to do them because they're fun and fun is enough reason to do everything. Well, I expect they'll still be fun, but there's more to it for me now. I reds a quote from an actress once about how, when she first moved out to California, she and her acting friends would get a season's pass to Disneyland and, whenever things were tough, go out to the park as a way of boosting morale. Something in that sentiment makes sense to me in my depressed state. As the years go by, I can't imagine that it will get easier to live with my disability. On the contrary, it will be viewed as more and more unusual that I am single and unemployed. So it will be important to have a time of the year to boost my morale. Now more than ever, I'm gonna need a vacation.

-Frank

If I Lost It All

In my previous article, I noted that I have told my therapist that I have no suicidal ideation, which is common question that comes up during therapy for depression. While this is true, it is important to think about all scenarios that might arise. There are circumstances that could cause most people to kill themselves. John McCain attempted suicide during the worst of his time as a P.O.W. in Vietnam. Alan Turing poisoned himself when faced with a choice between hormone treatments or hard prison time following successful prosecution for homosexuality at the hands of the Crown. Dr. Jack Kevorkian assisted many people with suicide when their chronic illnesses became too much to any longer endure. For myself, I could live with the various complications diabetes may one day inflict. If I were, by some foul circumstance, denied my primary social outlet at the Just For Him cigar shoppe, I could endure as I did in my friendless childhood. However, if the money my family has ensured sustains me ever goes, I make no promises.

I wouldn't turn to suicide as my first recourse if I ever lost my money, mind you. Mine has been a life marked by tremendous generosity to family and friends and I would hope financial help would be forthcoming from some of them. If that isn't the case though, the circumstances would become more dire. Applying for disability due to autism, as another autistic friend has already successfully done, would be my only option at that point. It's not difficult for me to imagine the sort of life would entail. First, I'd need to sell every major asset I own. That means the condo, car, computer, phone, and anything else of significant value. From there, I'd need to get a studio apartment walking distance from a grocery store. All the disability money would need to go to rent and groceries, as there would not be sufficient funds for anything beyond that. With pens, pencils, and paper I already own, I would continue to write, as that would be the only remaining hobby I could afford. How long I could endure under these circumstances, I don't know, but I can't imagine I'd last long.

Although the scenario I describe in the above paragraph frightens me immensely, I repress that emotion the same way I repress all emotions. What would truly break me, I think is the lack of stimulating hobbies and the loss of the ability to help others. While I have lost some of life's greatest pleasures and have been forced to admit my own lack of potential because of the severity of my autism, things are still sufficiently comfortable that I do not think I will crack under the pressures of my disability. We all need a support system and to take an active role in feeding the things in our lives that we know are necessary for us to be happy. I know my family put aside the money off of which I must live because some of them were farsighted enough to see that my current circumstances would be forthcoming in the fullness of time, and I'm grateful for that because it is truly something I will always need. When I think of all the people who must live with disabilities as severe or worse than mine without the resources I am so fortunate to have, I pity them and I must not ever forget that I am only a few turns of bad luck away from being among their number.

-Frank