Problems

As I contemplate an education at The Culinary Institute Of America, I think a great deal about what kinds of problems autism could cause me there. Undoubtedly, there will be challenges for me beyond what a neurotypical student starting with similar skill level and experience. Knowing that going in, it is my intent to conquer said challenges however I must. Alton Brown is fond of saying that categorization will set you free, so I have broken the problems my autism causes me into three different categories. None of these are clinically recognized, insofar as I know. Rather, they are just my best attempt to organize the problems into a easily understood list. That list consists of social problems, physical problems, and mental problems. Social problems have traditionally been the most challenging for me, particularly in the workplace, so they are my greatest concern. Physical problems have also been challenging for me, although I've made progress overcoming them with my person trainer, so they are of moderate concern. Mental problems were once challenging for me, but they haven't been much of an issue for since Paxil, so they are of minor concern.

Social problems are, in some ways, the most concerning problem because of their unpredictable nature. What will be required of me physically is easy to research and prepare for and what will be required of me mentally is unlikely to be greater than the pressure I faced at my company because there will not be the agonizing concern of making a business cash-flow. As for who I'll be facing when I walk through those kitchen doors though, there's no way to know. My concern about the chef instructors is relatively minor because I'm prepared to handle a few bad eggs if most of them are reasonably friendly, just as I once had to at my prior culinary school. However, the inverse was true when it came to my classmates there. There were one or two, maybe, who were kind to me, but nobody else liked me much. Mental problems have been solved by prescription medication, physical problems have been partially solved by personal training, but what shall I do to make progress in my social problems? Oh, I suppose I'm not completely bereft of ideas for how to socially improve, but what unnerves me about such ideas is that they are unproven and experimental in nature.

My therapist will be who I ask to take point on preparing me for the social experience of once again being a culinary student. There are some things that I should not do that I know from experience. For instance, I should not speak to my classmates about any of my culinary adventures, unless asked. Nor should I comment on any of their food, unless asked. Basically, I suppose I'm advocating a, "Don't speak unless spoken to," kind of arrangement. This may seem odd to them, as neurotypicals do not typically need to put up those sorts of walls, but I absolutely have seen what happened before when I let them come down in a kitchen. These boot camps on pastry, baking, and dessert, respectively, I'll be attending in the coming months should be good testing ground for those sorts of walls. Without the pressure of knowing I will need to work with and beside these people in a long-term fashion with one of the most prestigious degrees in the world on the line, I can see how well I can keep those walls up in a low-consequence environment. Friendliness is actually the scariest thing I could have in a classmate because it tends to brings walls down and when walls come down, there's problems.

-Frank