Forty Fun Food Facts

Being in culinary school has afforded me the opportunity to learn many fun things about food, as has over a year of religious devotion to The Food Network and, especially, Good Eats. That said, here I'll share my bountiful knowledge with you and try to make it interesting.

1. Chocolate was originally used primarily as a beverage by the colonial Spanish in South America. It was particularly useful for staying awake in church and was so popular that a powerful bishop was poisoned for speaking out against its consumption. Having a mother who is a confirmed chocoholic, I understand their priorities.

2. Coconut water is some of the purest stuff on Earth. There have been times in early 20th century wars where soldiers would be given the stuff intravenously. That's how pure and sterile it is. It also tastes really good when mixed with virtually anything, even Diet Rite.

3. Smoked food tastes good to us for evolutionary purposes. Not only does it taste bad to flies, but it also helps preserve the food, as does salt and sugar. Virtually anything that tastes good to humans has some survival value

4. Dark food looks better on a white plate and light food looks better on a black plate.

5. To beat the heat of spicy foods, use milk, alcohol, or sugar water. Bread, straight water, or soda don't really help much.

6. Okra is common in gumbo because the slime inside acts as a great thickener, and thickening is always a central concern in soupmaking. Fried okra is really the peak application though, and can be done as either a wet or dry method.

7. Pink peppercorns are not actually pepper nigram. They are simply a berry that looks similar. They are, however, good on deviled eggs regardless.

8. There are two kinds of cocoa powder. Unsweetened, or regular, cocoa powder is a highly acidic product with a pH of around 6 and is noted for it's reddish brown color. Dutch process, or Dutched, cocoa powder, on the other hand, has a sweet chocolate taste and is a color closer to what most people would think of as well. They're both great for a lot of uses, but you have to know what you're doing. Basically, anytime there's a lot of fat and sugar in the recipe, you'll want unsweetened, but if there's not a lot of fat and sugar to counter the bitterness, Dutch process is the way to go.

9. When cutting broccoli on the mandoline, you'll want to make sure and cut stem-first. The florets are structurally weak and the stem's really the only think holding anything together.

10. Carrots have a lot of natural sugar to them, which is what makes carrot cakes work. The sweet potential of carrots was discovered by the British during sugar shortages of WWII. In many ways, the carrot is an old reliable favorite to the British, much like corn is to us.

11. Angel food cake is heavily protein laden and completely fat free, by definition. See, egg foams won't form if there's even a fleck of yolk, or any other fat for that matter, and there's like 5 or six egg whites in an angel food cake. It's a ton of protein, certainly enough to counteract the relatively minor amounts of flour and sugar involved. One of the healthiest cakes you could eat!

12. Homemade mayo is not going to give you salmonella poisoning because vinegar and lemon juice are involved. Acid is really good at killing salmonella.

13. That scooper thing that the lunchladies used to use to dish out mashed potatoes? The one with the scraper inside the bowl that moves back and forth to get the foodstuffs out? That's not called an ice cream scoop. It's called a disher and it's a wonderful portioning device. Depending on the type of dough, but especially for things like chocolate chip cookie dough, it will ensure your cookies are big and also that they are evenly cooked.

14. Don't ever put good knives that you actually care about in the dishwasher. The blades might be able to handle it but the handles will crack and break. Besides, having super-sharp stuff flying around in there, well, that's just...not...real...bright.

15. Chicken is the radioactive hot potato of contaminated food. Don't ever cut chicken on a wooden cutting board. Only plastic ones will do and, ideally, you'll have a particular cutting board for which you always and only use chicken.

16. If your dog eats a little bit of a chocolate bar, relax. There needs to be a lot of cocoa solids for it to actually become a real problem. Actual baker's chocolate is when you should really worry.

17. Don't make sauces in a saucepan. You need to be able to get a whisk down into the sides and the straight sides of a saucepan make that pretty touch. Instead use a saucier, which basically looks like a bowl with a handle on it.

18. Even if you're not worried about plating, try and get your knife cuts relatively even. They're functional as well as pretty, in the sense that similarly sized things cook more evenly and get completely cooked at the same time.

19. Peanuts are not nuts, but many other things that we think of as nuts are actually drupes, but then again many things we call berries are drupes...and some things we call vegetables are berries...so there's really nothing good down the nitpicking road.

20. To lessen the teary-eyed effect of chopping onions, work near an open flame and use a sharp knife so you damage the leaves less.

21. If you're not sure about a piece of meat, push on it with your fingers. If it bounces back and leaves no impression of your fingers, it's a go. If there's a lasting imprint...run.

22. I always thought icing was so difficult to make. It's easy once you have a good stand mixer. Just follow the recipe on powdered sugar bags and, if you want a different flavor, replace it with that flavor of extract. Easy.

23. Hand mixers are wonderful backups and really the only way to whip up egg whites right. Stand mixers just can't quite compete in this category. Likewise, don't ever try to cream butter with a hand mixer. You'll get there eventually but your arm'll fall off in the meantime.

24. Fresh ground spices really do matter. Outside of ginger, it is really worth it to keep a separate grinder for spices. Your coffee one will work, kind of, but I've reached the limits of my patience with mine. A pepper mill is fine for pepper, but you'll use the grinder real fast once you decide volume is a priority.

25. Don't buy butter spread. Whip up butter in the stand mixer and put it in a container in the fridge. Just as much spreadability, ten times the flavor. Throw in garlic or herbs if you like.

26. Homemade microwave popcorn. 1 brown lunch bag, 1/4 cup popcorn, 2 tsps popcorn oil or olive oil, 1 tsp fine salt, 1 tsp flavored salt. Fold over three times, staple shut with two staples. Microwave until five seconds between pops. You'll be amazed how much better this is.

27. Remember with garlic that the finer you chop it the more intense the flavor's going to be.

28. Only try candymaking if you're not afraid of burning yourself. Depending on what you're doing, a sugar-based syrup can get more than 200 degrees above the boiling point of water. Culinary napalm, pastry chefs call it.

29. Always look to see if it says the simple words "maple syrup" on maple syrup. If it says pancake syrup, waffle syrup, butter-flavored syrup, maple-flavored syrup, or anything like that, it's not the genuine article. Usually there will be only one or two packages of it on a store's shelf and it will be much less flashy than its synthetic cousins. Also be prepared for a much different viscosity and a much richer product.

30. Pam is close to 100% fat. It is not, as advertised, 100% fat free. If you think you can grease a pan without fat being involved...well...you're special.

31. Don't ever leave salt out of recipes. Salt doesn't just make food salty, but serves to make it more flavorful. It literally turns up the flavor receptors on your taste buds, and you'll never miss it until it's gone.

32. Don't drink juice instead of soda and kid yourself that it's healthier. Fructose is not all that much better than high fructose corn syrup, you know.

33. Do not use the same batter for waffles and pancakes. You are going for a crisp product with a creamy texture on the inside with the former and a soft cakey texture throughout with the latter. You think you can accomplish this with the same batter...why?

34. When buying ham, only buy ham that says on it, simply "ham" or "ham in natural juice." If it says "ham and water product" or "ham, water added", do you think that's a good sign?

35. If you're worried about food poisoning, there's no need to overcook everything to high heaven. Most microbial beasties die between 135-165 degrees, depending on the food you're preparing. Use an instant-read thermometer and know the proper doneness temperature you're looking for. That way, you can taste the food instead of the cooking process itself. And if you're worried about ordering food out, believe me, the chefs know what they're doing by now.

36. Kosher salt doesn't have iodine added to it like normal table salt. That's part of why Alton Brown advocates the stuff and I agree. Just try it sometime. It tastes...more like salt.

37. If you're separating eggs, and you don't like to use your hands or the shell itself, use a slotted spoon. Use three bowls. One to separate over, one to put the yolk in, and one to put whites in. That way, one disastrous separation doesn't spoil the whole bunch with flecks of unwelcome yolk.

38. Broccoli tastes better than you've ever realized. Just steam it for fifteen minutes and when it comes out add some garlic salt, kosher salt, and fresh ground pepper. It's really quite good. Most likely the stuff you had to eat as a kid was boiled. Boiling is a TERRIBLE way to fix broccoli.

39. Excellent low-calorie snack: 2 cups blueberries, 2 cups Kashi seven-grain cereal, 4 tablespoons of sugar/16 packets of Splenda (depending on how sugar and you get along) and whatever kind of milk you like. First add the blueberries, then the sweetening agent, then just enough milk in the bowl (a big bowl) to cover the blueberries, followed by the cereal. Stir well enough to mix everything up. Suddenly, you've got a fruity meal that's probably around 300 calories (well more if you used half and half or something).

40. Sweet potatoes, while sweeter than their regular potato cousins, actually have more fiber and vitamins/minerals. Strange that diabetics would be better off with something sweet in the name, but it's true.

-Frank