Some of my happiest childhood memories involve Christmas gatherings at my great grandmother's home. There were several factors that went into this. The family had been doing these gatherings for decades by the time I came along and I was lucky to get along when they really had it down pat. By that, I mean that the decorations were familiarly just so, everyone had good memories they wanted to build upon for the sake of my generation, and there had been many established traditions that the years of history had given a special resonance. It was also special because a great margin of extended family was present and this meant we legitimately got to catch up with loved ones we didn't see too often. Under one roof, you'd have Coffmans, Savells', Brandts, Morrises, Magnesses, and even some extended family based out of Atlanta members of my generation would've never otherwise met. Of course, another reason these memories are so wonderful is because I was a kid and any good Christmas is enhanced by being in the prime of childhood. All that's gone now. Our WWII generation died out and all those families I mentioned celebrate their own Christmases these days. This year though, the Brandts are all together and something a bit akin to those Christmas gatherings of my youth has come into play. Looking forward to this gathering, as I am, has caused me to contemplate the Christmas gathering.
As I have written before, I greatly fear losing the Christmas gathering as an aspect of my holiday experience. There's great comfort in it as a family gathering. Holiday gatherings are likely to remain a feature of my life, most notably the Festivus party that takes place on the 23rd at Just For Him. Other forms of holiday gathering are available, of course. Office parties, parties thrown by friends, and simply getting invited to other families' Christmas gatherings are all on the table for your average person, regardless of whether the family gathering is still available to them or not. To the extent that one's family is unique and special though, gatherings of said family are equally special. One gets to watch babies be born and grow up in the same traditions oneself did. Conversely, one gets to watch elders grow more elderly as they prepare to pass and pass on the responsibility of keeping the traditions ongoing to whatever extent possible to their adult children. A marking of time and a reassurance of one's place in the world and roots within it is comforting in a way that is unavailable in any other context and far more than the sum of its parts. When people talk about how Christmas is about more than just the presents, I think it is gatherings like this that keep that statement from being a mere moralistic platitude.
For Christmas this year, I am making candy for family and friends. There will be six kids at this upcoming gathering who will be opening the tins to see what I have made for them. The novelty and surprise at handcrafted confection should be a very worthwhile reaction to observe. While I fear that this type of gathering will be lost to me as I grow older and my parents' generation begins to die of, it is important that I do more than simply mourn the kind of experience I had as child. After all, I'm still here and most of the people left necessary for the execution of a proper family Christmas gathering are too. So I'll try and enjoy the remaining Christmas gatherings of my life, however many or few that may be, as much as I possibly can. While it is a near certainty that, as my stepsiblings and cousins have families of their own without a matriarch or patriarch to any longer bind them together, I will walk the path of most unemployed, single, and childless people and end up celebrating Christmas Eve & Day alone, I calmly accept this likely possibility. What I'll always have is the best memories I could ask for and a heart and resources capable of feeding a palpable generosity towards whatever loved ones I manage to have in my life.
-Frank
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