The Bowl

Tonight, I watched the Super Bowl. It's a relatively ordinary event for plenty of Americans to do this, but it represents a lot of progress for me. Where I grew up, sports was king and much more than a simple game. Small towns, especially in the South, make sports king for a number of reasons, which I only came to understand later. Sports programs bring in money and that's always a consideration in any walk of life. They also provide a social purpose in providing regular entertainment in places where entertainment is a relatively rare quantity and a structure and locale at which kids may socialize outside of school. Perhaps most importantly, they provide a sense of unity and town pride that can be hard to muster for towns that don't have a whole lot going on otherwise. Watching the Super Bowl and actually enjoying the experience is representative of a lot of progress for me. To understand why, I'll take you back to how it used to be for me.

As I mentioned, sports was king where I grew up and I did not approve of this one bit. Autism can mean a lack of dexterity, coordination, balance, and proprioception, which it certainly did in my case. Since this means a stunning lack of athletic ability, and since I had little interest in games consistently featuring athletes who were among the worst of my bullies, it is unsurprising that I and the athletic department were constantly at loggerheads. Oh, I tried to conform sometimes, even playing football in seventh grade in a truly piteous attempt to impress a girl, but it was never any use. While I was struggling with a system seemingly designed to make it impossible to have town pride, prevent socialization with peers, and highlight and shame my mods profound weaknesses, athletes and coaches seemed capable of getting away with anything. That's just how Harrison was though, and I and it were unfortunate for one another.

These days, as with many things, I have my autism diagnosis to help me look back on the problems my childhood town and I had with one another over athletics with understanding instead of anger. I still think the athletic department of my day had too much power in areas that it had no business having any, but I imagine things might be different now. When I say I watched the game, it's important to understand the difference. Mostly, I played on my phone while occasionally looking up to respond to the passionate statements of my peers. Nobody minded that because rooting for a particular sports team or closely following one does not have anything to do with one's social standing, one's town pride, or one's character. At 33, sports is the mere entertainment it was always supposed to be and I am free to be happy for my friends when their team does well and cry for them when it doesn't. Watching the Super Bowl is fun because of what it isn't.

-Frank