Alarm

On September 11th in the year 2001 during mid-morning the world changed. Ever since the close of the Cold War when I was a small child, Americans had felt safe and secure, enjoying a time of peace and prosperity so total and so unprecedented it has since become known by the name America's Holiday From History. Frankly, my first two years of college we wondered what we would do with ourselves in a future like this and our young and idealistic minds imagined great things. Well, in every possible sense, that was a long time ago. We've been treated to a degree of comfort in the intervening years, certainly. The many Islamofascists we've managed to kill since then, including Bin Laden himself, make it clear that there is a mortal price to be paid for causing this manner of pain and suffering to Americans. Yet, even as we withdrew from Iraq and took some degree of pride in the administration of Hamid Karzai, at least in comparison to the Afghani Taliban government, a new and even more terrifying threat than Al-Queda or The Taliban has emerged. They go by many names and they make many demands and claims. Some call them ISIS, others call them ISIL, still others call them IS, and there are those who simply call them The Caliphate. For the purposes of this article, I shall call them, "The Assholes."

What initially got my attention regarding The Assholes was, as you might imagine, their practice of removing the heads of innocent American journalists. So far, they have done this to two people and also to a British man who was apparently a foreign aid worker of some description. Bad though this is, it is not without precedent for Islamofascists, as anyone recalling the name and sad end of Wall Steert Journal reporter Daniel Pearl can attest. However, The Assholes are taking the whole concept much further. There is no indication that they will stop beheading people so long as they've people to behead in their clutches and even empty clutches may not stop them. Reports from some sources indicate that they have agents in the United States, which is unsurprising considering that, like John Walker Lindh for The Taliban before them, confirmed reports of Americans recruited and fighting for The Assholes have been confirmed. If it is true that they have agents in America then it may also be true that reports that said agents have been ordered to murder military members, including veterans, in their homes, preferably by beheading. While I realize that being afraid of terrorists only achieves their aim, I find it difficult not to be afraid of The Assholes. Even if only some of the stories I hear about their power in the Middle East and the United States are true, these people simply seem quite worthy of the fear and alarm they seek to instill.

The Assholes make me uneasy and there's no easy answer for how to deal with them. We are weary of dealing with terrorist organizations determined to rule the world, like someone who has watched too many old G.I. Joe episodes. What's important to remember is that our weariness for this sort of messy business wil in no sense and in no way make it not a problem for us. Some think we can solve this with sanctions, air power, training indigenous enemies of The Assholes, and diplomacy. That might work, and, certainly, the ideal situation would be that such methods succeed. If they don't, however, do we care enough about the threat that The Assholes pose to go once again into the breech, dear friends? Yes, I understand boots on the ground, wars that last periods measured in decades, Gitmo prisoners, and everything else we associate with the Middle Eastern wars of the Bush years are highly undesirable. Ask yourself though, what it would take to put those methods back on the table for you? For all I know, we have a plan to kill everyone in The Assholes tomorrow, but what it we don't? What if what is happening is they are getting stronger, their tactics more brazen, and their victims more dead? What then? As sincerely and completely I hope it doesn't happen, Americans could be killed on their own soil by these people. Once that kind if threat comes into view, I fail to see any reason to keep any method that could lead to ending said threat off the table. This county can beat The Assholes, but does it really want to?

-Frank