Friendship Hierarchy

Having once discovered that my former high classmates can be pleasant company a  reunion, I must also note that they're never going to be friends in the same sense that my closest friends are. In fact, I've often said I didn't even have any friends until I went off to college, which is true from a particular point of view, if I can get all Obi-Wan Kenobi on you. Friendship hierarchy is important. For my own purposes, there are six levels of friendship, in the broad sense of the term.

1. Inner circle:

A good way to determine this one is to ask yourself, were you to get married, who would be your hypothetical wedding party? If you have a lot of friends of the opposite sex as well, assume you get to pick all the bridesmaids and all the groomsmen. People rarely fall from this height, but it can and does happen, in my case,with both genders before.

2. Broader circle:

These are your buddies, and, to continue the wedding analogy, they're the ones likely to serve as ushers and to be handing out programs. They don't know all your deepest darkest secrets, but you know theirs, but they're always up for hanging out and they'll usually have your back if you need help. Most good friends you make will be this category.

3. Aquaintance (positive):

These are people you know, and may even see a lot, but they're not really YOUR friends. They may well be somebody else's friends or somebody else's squeeze (yes, I just used that term, and you can just deal with it :p) and you find them agreeable enough, but the ultimate test is whether it would ever just be you and them hanging out on a regular basis. If the answer is no, then you have your answer don't you?

4. Aquaintance (negative):

These are people you know, and may even see a lot, but you don't like it. They may be somebody else's friends or somebody else's squeeze, but that's just your bad luck. The ultimate test is if you ever leave or your decision to leave turns on them being around. It's in that low barely audible grumble that shows up whenever they are around.

5. Classmates from pre-college years:

These are people you grew up with, and they exist as a listing on the hierarchy only as a matter of listing. They lie along their own spectrum, but it's hard for me to picture them at the extremes, particularly as members of the inner circle or as the sixth category, which I shall get to in a moment, Enemies. The way the bonds I have with these people formed in years of misery so long ago has the strange effect of tempering my relationships with them. Having kept up distance between us naturally, I neither run too hot or too cold on most of them. Although, as stated in another note, some of them are certainly harder to deal with than others. That said, I'm sure there's at least one of them I'm officially on the enemies list of.

6. Enemies:

Virtually all of these people in my case, with one notable exception, started off as one of the other categories. Nearly always though, a friend of some sort managed to get to know you well enough, and then something happened to irrevocably induce mutual hatred. Nothing much more needs to be said about it.

-Frank