Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Homosexuality And I: A Helpful Guide

Having just finished watching Bruno, the topic of homosexuality is on my mind, and I know the movie's going to cause a lot of discussion regarding it. As a jumping off point, I will say that, with the possible exception of voting libertarian in the 2000 Presidential election, I have never been able to vote for a political candidate that agreed with my position on this issue because the pros always outweighed the cons.

Let's go back to the beginning. In some ways, earlier generations were more fortunate than mine when they learned about homosexuality, because the first time I learned about it was also the first time I learned about AIDS. Movies like Philadelphia and AIDS: And The Band Played On combined with school sex education that explained about both AIDS and homosexuality in the same breath made them virtually synonymous. Nobody specifically called it the "gay cancer", but they might as well have. AIDS was interesting apart from that though, because, outside of increasingly rare blood transfusions or unfortunate birth circumstances, one could only get the disease through sex outside a monogamous relationship or through drug usage. Having it was like a giant Puritan "A" on your face. I will note that it is unfortunate that some at the time actively tried to prevent AIDS research from receiving funding based on the apparently sincere belief that it was God's punishment for homosexuals. Considering the not insignificant number of children born with the disease, I should hope a significant portion of homosexuals don't get diabetes, or that will be an apparent punishment too I suppose. So this paragraph covers AIDS and related issues and having done so, I'll say no more about it.

Despite growing up in Harrison, AR, a community not exactly enlightened regarding such things, I was never really exposed to significant anti-gay sentiment. My mother could fairly be described as more out-of-touch and insensitive regarding it, and, while my stepfather plainly believes it's morally wrong to be a homosexual, he was never preachy about it and even watched The Birdcage with myself and my mother when it came out. Mostly, I was exposed to homosexuals through my oldest stepsister and her male friends, all of whom were invariably gay. This was due either to her friends all being in the drama department, Hannah's personality simply being agreeable to such young men, or a combination of both. Whatever it was, it gave me an impressive gaydar that functions accurately to this day, and an immensely positive view of homosexuals. Hannah's friends were very cool guys and invaluable early tutors in pop culture and film. Particularly of note was a young man named Andrew who worked as a projectionist at our local mall cinema. Running the place with the attitude and audacity of Randal from Clerks, he knew everything about the films playing and would screw up the projection for audiences who talked and were disrespectful to films clearly better than their audience. As far as actual exposure to homosexuals among my own peers, they were mainly closeted, though I certainly had my suspicions. When a woman gets cast as Gaston in a class production of Beauty and the Beast because she can pull off the required masculinity better than any of the men, yeah, that's a hint.

College was, as I imagine it is with most people, the first place I actually encountered uncloseted peers. Even during my evangelical Christian days, I never had a problem with them. My own interpretation of The Bible at that time placed forgiveness, redemption, and compassion above judging or tormenting others. Presently, I've realized that it's not very Biblical to be so kind and tolerant, so the Christians who oppose homosexuals are only having the courage of their convictions. Invariably though, I liked the various homosexuals I got to know. They were fun to smoke with (tobacco for those who, I don't know, had a head injury), made for good roommates, and nobody keeps up in an argument like some of those guys from back in the day, especially one about pop culture. Strangely, and this applies to this day, the number of lesbians I've been friends with, or even aware of, is vanishingly small, although people keep claiming they were there. Do I scream fat oppressive Republican alpha-male? I suppose from a cursory visual examination, I can see it, but that's a rather lazy evaluation of me, I think. Have a little insight won't you, lesbians at Drury from 1999-2006?

Now for the controversial paragraph. Bruno made me realize I've got to have a paragraph like this in here to be completely honest. There is nothing wrong with being a homosexual. Anything. At all. However, some of the stereotypical behavior involved is deeply unpleasant behavior that is not okay...for anyone. Ever. If you're an arrogant, shallow, condescending, elitist, lewd, man-child who talks with an unnatural lisp and valley girl accent...well...it's a free country. I'm not going to stop you from acting like an idiot and a clown, but nor will I refrain from observing that you are, in fact, acting like an idiot and a clown. Observing these things does not make me a homophobe. It makes me a idiotphobe and a clownphobe. Now, some people have talked and acted that way since they were a kid and didn't even know what sex was. That's fine. You don't get to throw away your entire personality that you've had and your closest friends know you as just because you came out of the closet though, an observation I've had a gay friend make, by the way. So, yes, act however you want, but try and have some goddamned dignity about you.

I'll just close by saying that, knowing about Kinsey's scale as I do, it's interesting to talk in strict terms of heterosexual and homosexual, when few people are truly at the extreme polarities in either direction. Kinsey hoped we'd stop defining ourselves by the strict lines of our orientation. Yeah, and you can hope that abandoned land mines will become clean food and water, but it ain't gonna happen. Yet, we've got GBLTQ as a concept now. Not only can you be gay or lesbian, but in the middle as bi, transgendered, which is a whole other thing that I can only imagine complicates matters exponentially, and questioning. Heterosexuals really do have it easy, because we're left alone to discover things on our own mostly. All I had to do was to see Nicolette Scorsese on the diving board in Clark W. Griswold's imaginary swimming pool to have something click, and all of a sudden I understood I was attracted to the opposite sex. What does a homosexual do if, for instance, their trigger is the volleyball scene in Top Gun, or, in the case of a young lesbian, Nicolette Scorsese on the diving board? Surely they cannot embrace their new insight into themselves as openly and with as much support as I was privileged to be able to do? My mind cracks at trying to imagine a similar trigger for a transgendered or transsexual child. What insight my mind is able to gather basically tells me that sex is complicated. More than anything, my most significant relationship taught me that, and I always interpreted that as a tragedy. Sex is such a huge part of all of our lives. Those that embrace chastity or celibacy must still resist their own body chemistry, so there is no real escape. Much better would be simplicity and transparency, so clear communication would be possible and everyone would know one another's motives and where one another was coming from. Instead, we've got this system whereby sex is something we, or at least I, might never fully understand in a lifetime. Given that, a little compassion and a little patience is probably a good idea, because everyone is defining their own path, and the important thing to remember is that their path is not your path. Learn to walk your path as best you can and, if you ever come to the conclusion that you are so wise as to be able to presume to tell another how to walk theirs, perhaps you should give it a moment's thought.

-Frank

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