Real Problems

Grandad used to tell us that no real problem could be solved with money. What he meant by that is that if someone's dead, someone doesn't love you back, someone's hurt, someone's crippled, or anything like that, you can't fix that with money. He was a rich man trying to tell his kids and grandkids to remember what's important and be humble about the great power into which they had been born. Of course, when you're not born with money, there's awful lot of problems that can be solved by it. Maybe that's why the man had a reputation for generosity that I inherited. So many things in the lives of wealthy men aren't fixable by money, because they've tried that already. However, when they see all the things in the lives of those about whom they care that could be fixed with money, some of them quite important, they feel the weight of their power. Much has been given to them and much will be expected.

I suppose not all men have the generosity impulse, but I do. Mine is quite difficult to regulate, but I've had to learn to keep it at least somewhat in check. Mostly, the problems arise by either those who take advantage, the most successful of which I call the 5,000 dollar club (based on how much they usually swindle from me before I notice), or because there are simply too many outstretched arms for the purpose. You can't, and in more cases than I often care to admit, shouldn't save everyone. Maybe their problems are of their own making, beyond your resources to meaningfully help, or they are simply lying about them to get money out of you. Anyone who has been consistently trying to help others for a long time knows just how various are the issues that doing so can cause and how much capacity for ingratitude and deception many people possess. 

Of course, I've got my own real problem. No amount of money can solve autism. If I had Bill Gates' money, I still couldn't use it to make myself employable or capable of maintaining a relationship. Maybe that's the kind of wisdom Grandad had going for him at the time of his later years when I was growing up. Here's a man who tried a lot of things in his life and had both failed and succeeded. At times, he had financial security and at other times he did not, so he knew what happiness was and could be both with and without money. If I had that kind of wisdom, I'd want to pass it on to the next generation. Respecting money's power and knowing its limitations are hard tricks to master, but master them you must, whether you've got money or not during different periods of your life. You'll always be seeking solutions and you'll always have problems. When money can't fix those problems, often nothing can. That's when you've got to find a way to keep moving, because any problem all comes down to whether or not it stop you.

-Frank