For The Hell Of It Cake

As I go about my cake-ordering planning, it occurs to me that there is an unacceptably long gap at a particular time of year. January has nothing, but I can accept that because it's got four months of event cake-friendly months right after. June is the next month with nothing, but Independence Day swoops in quickly to redeem it in July. August and September are the only months with nothing worth making a cake over contained within them. So I've decided to start a new cake tradition. I call it the For The Hell Of It cake, and it shall come in August. The only rules for a For The Hell Of It Cake are it must be as pure an expression of randomness as I can muster. Every year, it will be different, with absurdity and gratuitousness the only unifying features.

My concept for this year's inaugural For The Hell Of It Cake is as follows below:

8" round
Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting
Hot Pink Fondant
The following unrelated items go wherever you can fit them on the cake:

1. A palm tree.
2. A winter ski cap.
3. A trampoline.
4. A paperclip.
5. A bottle of Dawn.
6. Nickels.
7. Clowns.
8. The Towncar from Monopoly.
9. A pair of tits (birds).
10. A generic, "Men's Room," sign.
11. A shovel.
12. A pencil complete with eraser.

First, we start with the flavor. A vanilla cake with chocolate frosting is the most generic of all cake flavor options. It's the cake we all made with our moms as kids. So we have a foundation of the mundane atop which is built gratuitous nonsense. Hot Pink fondant is the first layer of absurdity, for there is no reason whatsoever for the cake to look like a plastic one out of some sort of Barbie Dream House, especially considering that I will serve it to manly types at a cigar shop. As for the decorations, I'm pretty sure they speak for themselves in the way you no doubt read that list and go, "...What? But...I...WHAT?!" With the addition of the For The Hell Of It Cake to my annual cake list, I will be ordering at least one cake from Amycakes 8 months out of the year. Any excuse, no matter how absurd, for more cake.

-Frank