Self-Esteem

As I was watching the self-esteem episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit, I got to thinking the topic deserves a treatment on this blog. Given that the blog is meant, in its most general description, to be an examination of any kind of topic through my verbal autistic perspective, I think that the concept of self-esteem that we have in the modern United States is relevant because autistic kids are often top priority targets of adults who wish to raise self-esteem in kids. In its current form, self-esteem is viewed as a trait that leads to more successful and happy kids. Essentially, this idea came about because people noticed that the kids with high self-esteem became more successful and happy kids and, ultimately, adults. Their logic would have it, the best thing we can do for kids, especially ones with a disability, is to raise their self-esteem to improve their odds of becoming more successful and happy. An especially common logical fallacy, usually expressed as, "correlation does not equal causation," is responsible for this line of reasoning and I will endeavor to explain the fallacy and give my recommendations as to the how the issue of self-esteem ought to be treated.

Humans are naturally pattern-seeking creatures and our ability to notice patterns was crucial in our evolutionary development. As a result, we are quick to give great weight to any pattern we come across. The problem with that is that is that successfully correlating an effect with an action does not prove, or even imply, a causal relationship. Proving causation requires a great deal more work than simply noticing a correlation. For instance, there is probably correlation between watching a lot of TV and being overweight, but there is no causal relationship. If you exercise every day and don't consume too many calories, the box will not make you fat. Sometimes, we get causation wrong because a correlation distracts us. Successful and happy kids have high self-esteem because of the factors that made them happy and successful in the first place. They have merit, whether that be academic, athletic, social, or whatever else it is that made them so awesome. Being awesome causes high self-esteem because these kids recognize that they are some species or another of winner and they feel pretty good about themselves for that, which they should.

So if increasing self-esteem in kids does not make them more successful and happy, what would? Well, the basic problem with the way the self-esteem movement approaches the question is that they're putting the cart before the horse. In order to be successful and happy, kids need the tools to become thus. These tools are things like marketable skills, social acumen, healthy relationships (both romantic and platonic) and a sense that they are in some way competent to be useful to others. It has been said that most people with low self-esteem deserve it. As harsh as that sounds, there is truth to it. A less judgmental way to put it is that, if you have accurately judged yourself to be a loser, then low self-esteem isn't so much bad as it is a sign you have the capacity for self-awareness, which is not such a bad place to start. Once you have identified that the problem is that you're a loser, you can start doing something about it. Do everything you can to improve your skills and interpersonal relationships. Be as useful to those around you as you can be. If you've already done everything you can do, then you probably have accurate self-esteem. Perhaps the idea that this is the best you can do is hard to take, but it is no less true for it.

-Frank